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It seems
that even before I was saved, God had given me certain artistic abilities.
Looking back I realize just how much time I wasted serving the devil with
them. When I accepted Christ, He started to change me from the inside out.
It became evident to everyone around me, especially when it came to my
artwork and attitude toward life. Before, almost every piece I produced
was in black and white. Usually the imagery stemmed from my dark, lonely,
depressed state-of-being. After salvation all that changed. All of a
sudden, I started using colors that I’d never had the desire or knowledge
to work with. Also, the patterns and designs that started coming out of me
(or through me) were completely unlike anything I’d ever done before.
His love truly changed my heart AND my vision. MY ART had now become HIS,
just like the rest of me. I once produced out of sadness and restlessness.
Now I produce out of peace and joy. If you’d seen me before all this,
you truly would have seen a completely different person. But I’ve reached
no level of perfection in any area — I’m still in this nasty
little earth suit like everybody else down here.
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Thank the Lord for the
gift of repentance and forgiveness which I need daily (sometimes hourly).
That’s one of the great things about having a relationship with Jesus.
He helps me to clean out the garbage so I can receive what God wants me
to have. Every time I fall He’s there to pick me up. I just have to make
the choice to reach out and take His hand and ask for help. It’s pretty
amazing to me, considering how many times I’ve stumbled, that He’s still
willing to use me for His purposes. He’s a very patient dude indeed!
I’m still trying to grasp the whole Christianity thing, but He’s
definitely helping me every step of the way. There is one thing I’ve
come to understand at least partially, mostly relating to my calling
and artwork. Let me see if I can articulate this ... God knew me
and had His plans for me long before I was ever born. HE CHOSE ME to
be one of His many paintbrushes, so to speak. But, He gave me free will
also. This is why I couldn’t have even begun to be the artist I was
supposed to be until I gave my life over to Christ. You see, even
though He’d already chosen me, I STILL HAD TO CHOOSE HIM. I’m glad
I finally came around.
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